Who Are We?
In the beginning was the word...erm, nope wrong story! Back in 1995, some idiot (namely me)
decided that it would be a good idea to start a Doctor Who Fan Club.
Why? Damn good question! Well it seemed like a good idea at the time is all I have to say
An advert was placed in the local paper, and lo, there was a huge response.
Actually this is a complete lie! For about two weeks there was no response at all,
A phone call arrived from a chap called Paul, who, for reasons known only to himself,
had already undertaken
the task of starting a Fan Club, by the name of the Telly Dreamers (although it
had several names prior to this).
His club had folded, largely due to a lack of time, and so he passed on the
names of all his previous club members.
Having inherited some members the club got off to a shaky start, even attracting
one member from the Midlands, who has since become a sort of unofficial club
Secretary/Vice President/General Dogsbody!
His name is Matthew, and you can check out his homepage
After a large and costly advertising campaign, and a revamp for the club we aquired
several new members, varying in age,
although for some reason, the 9 year old who listed two of his interests as
"penguins and sheep", didn't stick around too long (thank god!).
Some members have come and gone, and some seem to have been around since the dawn
of time, but we average around 12 members at present.
We welcome anyone of any age (apart from 9 year old sheep lovers!), and our
emphasis is most definately on FUN!
We are not anoraks...well not all of us anyway, and we would much rather indulge
in copious amounts of alcohol, than actually do
anything remotely interesting!
The Club tends to be somewhat self organising, or totally lacking in any
Meetings are generally held on the second Sunday of each month, and
generally consist of quizzes, and various games ripped of from British TV quiz shows.
Most meetings usually end up with everyone talking about anything BUT Doctor Who,
and the Club is run much more as a social group, than as a group of Anorak
Clad Obsessives. (No offence to any Anorak Clad Obsessives intended...GET A LIFE!)
We produce a monthly newsletter when we can be bothered, and operate a strict
Swear Box, and set of rules!
To be adhered to at all times, okay sometimes, well probably never
- The Club operates a swear box of taboo words, each of which has a price. Should these
be uttered by any member the the fixed penalty is incurred.
- All seriousness and sensible behaviour is prohibited. Persons behaving in such a
heinous manner may
find a Sonic Screwdriver firmly inserted in their left nostril.
- It is customary for Katy Manning's name to be mentioned at least six times
by each member during the course of a meeting. The penalty for non-compliance
will be for the offender to be sentenced to listening to Roberta Tovey's single
- Any member found to be mentioning Sylvester McCoy's name shall incur
the same punishment
as rule 3.
- There is no rule 5.
- Anyone asking to borrow, read, or watch "Time and the Rani" will be treated as insane
and sectioned accordingly.
- A subsidiary of the Splinters of Scaroth is the Official Local Dorset Tribunal
for the Appreciation of Timelash (O.L.D. T.A.T.). All members are automatically
enrolled in the aforementioned organisation. Like it or not.
- The club operates a National Lottery syndicate.
All winnings will be sent to the Tom Baker "New Suit" Appeal.
- Spontaneous human combustion is forbidden at all meetings (with
the exception of barbeques).
- Any member found to be taking these rules seriously will be chained to a
chair and forced to watch "Time and the Rani" whilst
impersonating Bonnie Langford.
If you would like to join S.O.S, or run a club elsewhere and would like to
contact S.O.S., then please do.
We welcome mail from anyone, anywhere, although if you happen to live in
Australia, membership is rather awkard as it is a bloody long way
to travel for a three hour meeting!
We can be contacted in a number of ways, but if you think for one moment
I am telling you where I live, or my phone number, then you may sod off!
As you are reading this on the Internet, use E-Mail, like every other bugger!
You can either E-Mail Darren
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